Life is slightly more melancholy here in NY.  Co-habitation, well, some days it's awesome, other days, it sucks ass.  Like tonight...  I'm usually in bed around this time, tossing and turning, staring at the ceiling and wondering if I'm ever going to not get the creepy feeling like I'm being watched, but no.  Tonight I am out on the couch.  Why?  Because I'm a bitch and I'm not tired, so I don't feel like pretending to sleep while my boyfriend either snuggles, snores or sleeps.  I'm not tired, I don't fucking want to go to bed.  What else that sucks is having a part-time job, because, since he's a grad student and he does 16 hours of work a day, my 16 hours a week job can't be considered a job.

No, I moved in with the condition that I had to get a job, well I got one, and until I got one, I would do all of the chores (cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc) like this is the circa 1950s.  Well I have a job and I'm still getting treated like June-fucking-Cleaver.  I'm sick of it.  So what do I do?  Anyone who really knows me knows what I did.  I bitched, I complained that it wasn't fair.  And then he got mad because all I do it bitch.  Well all he ever wants me to do is the fucking chores anymore!

I am NOT his fucking maid.  I am not his mom!  I am not going to clean up every little thing and pretend that it's my duty.  FUCK that.  That is why I am a feminist and that is why I am sleeping on the couch! 

Title: Hello Stranger
Chapter: 8
Author: wickedwriter916
Rating: PG-13

I didn't think you had it in you to go blonde...

So the other night, I'm minding my own business, kinda just chilling with my boyfriend, on the computer, relaxing.

And I get a text from one of my roommates in a panic


So what ended up happening was I was sick.  Depressed, kinda pain in your heart feeling, and so I jumped onto room draw and removed them from my roommates request.  Went to bed, sad as fuck because my boyfriend is a senior, and yeah, he is my best friend.  So next year he will be doing his graduate studies to get his Ph.D in Medicinal Chemistry at the University of Buffalo... Had a good cuddling dream, but woke up this morning depressed, unable to move and had a twitch in my arm.



So yeah, I draw tomorrow, apparently Edwards singles are taken, but my friend Coons has a double in Caflisch, so I might head over there.

But yeah, after that more sick feeling more tired.  Ate lunch, to which Roomies 2 and 3 were there and occasionally 2 would stomp past to get a drink, and I did catch her several times staring at me.

Went back to the dorm and went to fucking sleep, still depressed, still crushing sinking feeling in my chest, but something else had arisen.

During lunch, with Coons and my boyfriend, I got this "look" in my eye, Coons told me when I told her I had some ideas of like, taking all the blue pens out of the quad.  Or hiding single pieces of notebook papers.   And then it escladed to moving all the furniture out of the common room and into their bedrooms.  And visa versa.  Well Manical Laughter had struck again.  Deja vu to high school anyone?

Yeah I was crazy then, uber fucking depressed and down right loony.

It's started to come back.  The lasting darkness, but suicide was so high school attention cries.  Now I just don't want to get out of bed, just want to sleep, no dreams, just darkness.  And the manical laughter pops in and out.

And I don't mind.

So college is all shits and giggles, and sleep.  Seriously, if you want to be sleep deprieved: go to college.  If you want to learn how to pull all nighters: go to college.  If you want to learn how to get up early and write very good papers: well technically that's just me, but still go to college and give it a try.

So I was up at 6 am.  Wrote a pretty good paper imitating a Jacobin newspaper editor saying it was cool that they were going to chop of Louis 16th's head.  Thought it turned out great, went to class, and back to my dorm after lunch... crashed at 1:30, got up at 4.  I love my ability to be able to fall asleep in the middle of the day! 

It's been a strange day.  Currently I'm quite tired, but earlier I was bouncing off of the walls, staring manically at people and plotting fictional homocide, now I'm laying in bed, typing, stuck in a rut, unable to figure out how the hell my characters are going to get out of the situation I just put them in and what's going to happen to them down the road.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 1 being perfectly passive and mentally stable and 10 being unstable in the worst ways imaginably, I was about a 7 or an 8 today.  So pretty bad.  Like back when I was in high school and was suicidal/homicidal.  That was fun... hoping to finish thi before boxing... which I really don't want to go to tonight.  That's how low I feel.

Hey, um this is my final for my writing fiction class, and I kinda wanted some feedback, I gave it to my roommates to proof read and whatnot, but they're all science majors (lol future teacher living with future doctors =P) and I wanted some REAL feedback.

I'd really appreciate it, but it isn't due until the 17th.

10:06 mom came in.



Grandma is dead.

Um yeah, so my grandma is dying..... and it sucks, and I didn't know that a person could try so hard not to sob but they could still cry silently.  that it hurts so much to try not to let your voice quiver and crack, that it sucks to say goodbye.... i'm kind of emo atm, but i'm getting over it.....  My mom and aunts are spending the night at the hospital with her, my cousin thinks that she'll still be alive tomorrow, but i'm not so sure.   I'll try to update my stories sometime in the near future..... Thanks...

Wah I want to go back to school!  I miss my roommates and getting to see my boyfriend every freakin' day instead of just txting and random phone calls.... *sigh8 enough emo bitching... Blah.  Work at 4, like everyday and I want to write something... Anybody have a request?  Please lol?

Well, thankfully I have survived my first year at Allegheny College, but the packing is now overwhelming.   I need to clean my room and get all of my shit packed so that my lovely boyfriend can movie it into his dorm for the next few days while we venture up to Bradford, PA, to spend time with his family.  Oooo, this is going to be fun!

Well, it's almost 12:30, we just had a fire drill and I want to clean off my bed.  So packing, philosophy final, and bed, only to arise at quarter to seven to shower and head to Brooks to give Tara her bathing suit back and then breakfast at Brooks then back here to dick around, more than likely nap or play WoW, or finish up last minute packing.  Off to do that.  Wow, nine months, I love my roommate and I'm going to miss her terribly when I don't see her, and I'm hopefully going to be spending every weekend with my boyfriend, either back here in Meadville, or in Pittsburgh, depends on my work schedule at Dick's and me softball schedule along with his work study and research schedules here at the 'Gheny.

Well talk to you all again in the next few days and hopefully I can have time once again to write!  I desperately (no pun intended) want to get up the next chapter of Desperately Wanting to all my lovely friends over at Kitty and Pyro!

Be safe, especially with all this rapid tornadoes touching down, I've heard enough between Slyc and Eribus.